Monday, September 26, 2011

City Slicker

PhotobucketSo I have ZERO pictures to post on my story here.  I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Today Michael asked me to walk with him.  Since I was having some foot pain (nothing major) and going to the doctor for it I opted out.  Imagine my anxiety level when the phone rings and it is Michael yelling at me "Where are the BB's"?   Ok... this is where I have to interject.  I am not a gun person.  The only gun I KNOW where everything is would be the 9mm with the really big bullets and I can't even shoot it.  **Whining** It hurts my hand to shoot.  So I answer him truthfully "Ummm.... I don't know"?  Then ever so stupidly I say "Why"?
No reply.  Just a "Ask Kyle"!!

Ok... Off to find Kid #1.   "Do you know where the BB's are"?  "It is an emergency".   His answer "Really"?  "Why"?   Really?  You are going to ask me that too?   Again... I don't know.   "Dad wants them NOW"!  I tell him.

Kid #2   "What is going on"?  she asks.   Again...   "Do you know where the BB's are"?  "It is an emergency".   Her answer "Really"?  "Why"?    We are in the same house and they are across the hall from each other.
Again... I don't know.   "Dad wants them NOW"!  I tell her.

We all three troop outside to see Michael wrangling a SNAKE with a broom!!  Well no wonder I thought!  Can't do much with a broom!   "Well, where are the BB's"?  He asks us.  We still have no answer.  So we start looking in the garage while Michael continues his struggle with the snake.  Kyle finds it interesting and decides he wants to look at it so he walks up almost right to it!  Goodness!  The child AFRAID bugs has NO FEAR of snakes!  SHEESH!!

I finally find 4 measly BB's in the ammo case after I pulled out all the boxes.  I bring Michael  the BB's and gun.  "Seriously"?  He asks.  "Yep, Make it count"!  I tell him to which he glares at me.  Well he did.  He hit it every time however, it was adamant that he was still going into the bushes!  Michael started to "sweep" him to towards the road.  He went all the way up the long driveway and pushed him out onto the road.  Right into the MIDDLE of the lane.  EIGHT cars went over him.  Not  ONE hit him.  Slither, Slither.  Cop car.... BAM!  He took care of it for us.   Now I have mush in front of the mailbox.  I guess we know who will be getting the mail for a while.  It will not be me.

City Slicker I am.... if it has to do with snakes anyway.

1 comment:

Jeanne said...

I laughed out loud while reading...so funny!!